|I usually whiff of Halle Berry perfume mixed with rubber and lube|
It’s easy as hell to guess what 19-year-old Amie Conradine’s favourite colour is – but she sure as hell isn’t feeling blue about being crowned the winner of Bizarre’s 2011 cover star competition. And we think the reasons she stole first place are pretty obvious: Amie looks like a dirty Disney princess, with cute rosy cheeks (both sets) and curves that could make a preacher man head to the Job Centre for a career change; plus, at just five feet tall, she’s like a concentrated version of everything juicy and delicious.
SIGHT FOR DINO-SORE EYES
You’d imagine a sweet lil’ sugar cube like Amie would be called pet names such as ‘Dolly Mixture’ or ‘Blueberry Muffin’ by her friends, right? Hmmmmm… more like ‘Pirate Skunk’ and ‘The Pint-sized Velociraptor’! Velociraptor? Is that a dig at her size, implying that it’s a miracle that such a shortie is able to open doors?
“The dinosaur nickname comes from the fact that, when I laugh hard at something funny, I sound like a velociraptor from Jurassic Park emitting a squawking mating call!” Amie explains. “I’ve just had a cartoon velociraptor skull tattooed on my forearm by my friend DJ at Urban Ink Tattoo Studio in Brentwood, Essex – where I’m from. It’s only the eighth piece of work he’s ever done, but I love it.”
Amie’s second nickname, ‘Pirate Skunk’, reflects several aspects of her personality. To her, pirates represent freedom, and the idea that you can successfully sail through life, ride whatever waves come your way, and find an amazing clan of friends without having to conform to dull, standard social expectations.
As for the ‘Skunk’ part… “When I was younger, I’d only wear black and white, and I even dyed my hair to match, so I looked like Pepé le Pew!” Amie giggles. "The name is also a reference to how bad I sometimes smell! I usually whiff of Halle Berry perfume mixed with rubber and lube. I work part-time at a dungeon-style sex shop in the basement of club-clothing brand Cyberdog’s flagship store in Camden, London, so I have the best excuse to wear latex during the day. I stink most after I’ve been sweating my ass off playing thrash drums, though. I sing punk ska too, and I’m building a band."
GOING BANANAS AND CLOWNING AROUND
Music is a big part of Amie’s world. Her favourite gigs so far have been Wednesday 13 – “He spotted me while I was queuing and remembered me from another concert, so he gave me a banana, which I ate seductively to wind up my boyfriend of four years, Jon” – and Rob Zombie in Brixton last February. “I got crushed fighting my way to the front of the crowd, but it was worth it to see Rob going crazy on a stage full of giant robots!” she gushes.
Amie’s a big fan of Rob Zombie’s film House Of 1000 Corpses, especially the scenes containing Captain Spaulding, the vulgar clown. Since watching Tim Curry play Pennywise in IT as a kid, she’s had an intense clown fetish, and Bizarre reckons Amie must get very excited around Red Nose Day!
As Amie chats and laughs about managing to sneak into an over 21s-night at Camden’s Purple Turtle club and going bonkers on Jägermeister, getting tatts of her lucky number three, colouring her hair all shades of wild (hot tip: Amie uses Directions dye, ladies), and perspiring so much while bashing her drum kit that her ass audibly squelched every time she shifted position, it’s easy to assume that her lifestyle is pure hedonistic rock’n’roll. But she’s also a really caring lass, with a quieter, sensitive side.
“I was bullied for being different when I was younger, and I must thank The Hermit in Essex – it’s an over-14s youth club that puts on gigs, provides training courses, and generally offers support and encouragement to young people,” she states. “They really helped me out. I love modelling right now, but when I’m a bit older I think I’ll be interested in doing charity work, particularly with youth groups or mental health organisations. My niece has a rare form of epilepsy that means she can’t speak or easily express herself, so I’m learning how to communicate with her using signs. Can you imagine how frustrating it must be not to be able to make yourself heard?”
Bizarre certainly don’t reckon this is the last you’ll hear of Amie Conradine.
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