Your models: Angela Ryan and Athena Fatale
You can grab their clothes from Stormyleather.com, and bag yourself a sexy sling and stand from Stockroom.com.
See more at Angelaryan.com and Athenafatale.com

Your photographer and writer: Christine Kessler
Chilly this winter? Fetish photographer Christine recommends a low frequency stimulation using ‘The Samurai’: a vaginal electrode and clitoris vibrator made by PES. Toasty! See more at MyFetishDiary.com

Precious Bizarre readers,

I may have a reputation for being a kinky pervert (and I am), but the truth is that I’m also a hopeless romantic and a serial monogamist.

I excel at one-on-one relationships, and I don’t mind saying that my partners have been lucky to have me. I’m smart, funny and I love to cook. I believe it’s healthy to have one’s own friends and interests. I’m rarely jealous, never lie, am an open-minded and enthusiastic lover, and I have terrifically hot friends who like to take their clothes off. Clearly, my qualifications speak for themselves.

The unfortunate reality is that sometimes, for whatever reason, my intense ‘I-can-totally-see-us-growing-old-together’ unions dissolve. Perhaps it’s because we drift apart; maybe I discover my partner’s been banging his customers before work, and one of them’s pregnant; or perhaps I realise that spending one more second as a doormat will surely kill me. The particulars are irrelevant. We split up.

When my last partner and I were high on love, we shared everything. We got pets. We pooled our resources for high-end sex toys. Those days were magical, but the end is the end, and with it comes the sadly inevitable splitting up of assets. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t care if my partner wanted this or that. But I can think of two things I regret losing – a leather sling and portable sling stand.

The leather sling could be hidden in a duffel bag tucked under my coffee table.

The stand was a thing of beauty – lightweight aluminium that could be constructed by one person. What I loved most was its versatility. We lacked a dedicated kinky play space, but it functioned beautifully as a flogging station, or something to hold onto while being caned.

Adding a sling merely improved upon perfection. One could, for example, grab one’s friend by the balls, lead him to the stand, bend him forward, cuff his wrists to the chains and spank his ass. One could then unclasp the cuffs, stand him up, turn him around and nudge him into the sling’s full leather embrace. Helpless, his cock would be standing at attention while his hungry asshole begged to be filled with a dildo or strap-on.

Er… I mean, that’s merely one possible scenario. Did I mention that the sling/stand combo is every oral sex devotee’s dream? No more sore necks!

The moment the recession is over, I’ll buy a new, shiny replacement, invite over a few special friends, and banish the coffee table to another room…

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