I often get emails from people saying they're afraid to attend fetish parties. I admit I was scared the first time, too. I imagined the minute I entered the club I'd see a bunch of naked people running towards me like crazy cowboys, flipping their bullwhips in the air like I was about to become their sacrificed lamb. But I went regardless of my fears, and I was surprised to see how the guests looked exactly the same as they do in regular clubs.

I had fun at that club, but my misconception of fetish parties made me think I could have sex in the venue, which I did; however, public sex is forbidden in Montreal and I got kicked out. After that experience I decided to find a kinkier venue, and ended up in a private ranch in Pennsylvania that had various dungeons in the basement.

Sex was allowed there, but nothing really shocking happened except for an improvised dominatrix who carved the word 'MINE' with a knife on her slave's back. The poor soul was screaming like hell, blood flooded everywhere and the area had to be thoroughly cleaned for over an hour. That was shocking enough for me to not go back to that particular ranch.

Eventually, my exploration of fetish parties brought me to more glamorous events in Europe, including The Skin Two Rubber Ball in London. I find European fetish events to be more fashion/beauty-oriented, whereas in America, although the parties I attended were also polished, people seemed to prefer focusing on the game-play rather than the glam side of fetish.

Most of the games I've seen were not so shocking, but some weird pictures remain in my mind. Recently I saw a blindfolded, naked guy lying on the girls' restroom floor with a sign on his tummy saying 'Kick me, spit on me, poo on me', while the restroom butler, who was about 50 and clearly not a fetishist, was trying to sell cigarettes and hand lotion to the revellers! That was a strange sight, and I felt embarrassed and scared of being judged by the butler, who looked shocked by the scene.

This experience led me to wonder: What if the real fear of attending a fetish party isn't what we might see there, but who might judge us for going? But then, who doesn't judge or have prejudices? I'm certainly intolerant at times, especially towards foolish teenagers who prefer begging on the street for money to flipping burgers like I used to to earn some cash. But hey, my judgements don't stop them from doing what they want, so why would that stop you? Just enjoy your life, man!

GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT: Questions, praise, criticism? Ring me: Biancabeauchamp@videotron.ca

WANNA HAVE FUN? :
5-8 October: Skin Two Rubber Ball, London, UK
Skintworubberball.com
28 Oct: Westbound Halloween Party, Plymouth, UK Westwardbound.com