Telling you all about my vacuum bed experience in the last Bizarre was so much fun, I've decided we should share my experiences with gasmasks. The first time I saw one on someone's face, a vision of Hitler kissing a Facehugger came to mind. The look disgusted me as it reminded me of the stupidity of war. I guess my perception began to change when I had to wear one for a photoshoot.

I bought it at an army shop, where I got suspicious looks from the cashier. I was about to tell him to screw himself when I realised the look on his face might be a reaction to me licking a pepper-spray can on the counter.