In the '70s and '80s, the low-on-budget, high-on-originality films of John Carpenter made him a genre master. Having resurrected horror's much-bloated corpse with Halloween (1978), his next big-screen assault was the ultra-moody ghost flick The Fog. Now, some dickwad has deemed it a good move to remake Carpenter's 1980 spine-tingler, only this time aimed at a mainstream teen audience. Not surprisingly, the result is horror at its most sterile and unimaginative.
For the first two-thirds at least, the plot largely follows the original: on the eve of its centennial celebrations, a remote seaside town comes under attack from a mysterious fog that carries within it a vengeful force of evil. However, all similarities stop there.
Not only are events completely stripped of the malevolent menace so prevalent in its predecessor but, to add insult to injury, the feature is also plagued by lacklustre performances. TV-friendly leads Tom Welling (Smallville) and Maggie Grace (Lost) are particularly awful, while even the usually dependable Selma Blair (in the Adrienne Barbeau DJ role) can't lift proceedings.
As for the special effects, throwing a few Disneyesque, Haunted Mansion-style spooks into the mix was never going to improve this fear-free, piss-poor mess. As a cure for insomnia, The Fog works a treat; beyond that, it's a dismal failure and should be avoided like a dose of leprosy.
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