Film-maker Justin Sane's new short film Meet The Johnsons is pervy, sick and downright wrong. Read our exclusive interview where Sane shares his views on working with puppets...

I've officially been playing with dollies since 2004.

What makes working with puppets so special?

Puppets don't object to sex scenes, nudity or extreme violence. And if they did complain, you could just burn them. I don't think the Screen Actors Guild would let me get away with that.

Has anyone ever complained?

Not yet, though I expect someone will any day now. Strangely, the person I expected to react the worst to my early films was my grandmother, but she said they were "cute".

What themes will Eat The Johnsons be covering?

Cannibalism, deviant sex, bondage, vagina-faces, severed head love, Coprophagia and a new version of the old joke "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

HIs it difficult to film a puppet sex-scene?

It's actually not that hard. The hardest part is keeping your hands out of shot, and then you just proceed to bang the puppets together.

Does this arouse you?

It's hard to get sensual when you're working with solid plastic, so they basically look like two drunks fucking. I can't speak for anyone else, but I don't personally get excited filming the sex scenes... the crew actually got most excited over the "poop wrangling" scenes - take it as you wish.

Any plans for future films?

I've thought about making a sci-fi porno with puppets called Space Deep, but it was kind of a Thunderbirds-type idea, and I've kind of dropped it since Team America came out. Right now I'm starting very early preproduction on a feature-length film called Midnight Matinee, which is best described as the 1960s children's matinee version of Grindhouse - you know, two fairy tale "features" and some trailers for kid's films that will never be... but when someone actually gives me a budget, I'd love to make an epic about the first, and greatest, violent puppet - Mr. Punch! I've got the script ready to go, Hollywood!

Should you be given loadsa cash to make the Barbie or Action Man movie?

Absolutely, though I'm leaning towards Action Man. Do you think they'd approve of Action Man punching enemies' heads off and ripping out their intestines with his teeth?