A sultry afternoon in the port of Rotterdam, June 2006. It's the last day of the Primitive! garage rock festival, and in the oppressive Dutch heatwave most punters are either crashed out by the edge of the harbour, or dodging the sun's angry glare in the famous Waterfront bar. Suddenly, four men dressed as pensioners storm the stage and begin to thrash out reverberant, scary-as-hell horror punk, hurling themselves around the tiny venue and shaking sleepy punters from their dope-fuelled haze. Six months after this unforgettable performance we finally caught up with The Mammies' singer and organ grinder, Josette, who gave us some details on this mysterious band from Montpellier (all of which should be taken with a grain of salt, of course).

Judging by your craggy faces and wild live shows, you've been in the rock'n'roll business for years. Tell me more about The Mammies...

The Mammies is a very old band. We had three years of intense activity in the 1960s, but split up in 1968 because we didn't want to play the sort of psychedelic hippy crap everyone was into. Since then each of us has played in surf, garage or punk rock bands, but we decided to reform in 2004 - everyone was talking about the "return of garage rock", and we wanted to show the world what a real garage band is like.

You call yourselves the "oldest girl band in the world". Why do you dress as old ladies?

Watch it, kid. We are old ladies. We're not acting. Gertrude plays the drums, Georgette is on bass, Germaine strums the guitar and I play organ and sing. People have too much respect for the 'third age', and are always trying to stop us hurting ourselves onstage. Fuck them! Having fun has nothing to do with age. We mostly play covers, but we've also written songs about the born-tired youth-of-today wankers who we can't stand.

You call your music 'shitrock' - tell me more.

All shitrock means is we're bad musicians - maybe one of the worst bands ever. Shitrock is simple, direct and raw. It smells soooo bad.

Judging by your band name and Myspace page, you seem to have a lot in common with garage rock legends The Mummies. Do you know them?

Fuck The Mummies, man! Those guys are dirty robbers. We thought they were a tribute to us when they first came out, but then they went and stole our act. If you're listening to this, Mummies - WE FUCKING HATE YOU!

Jesus, calm down. Finally, have you got any message for Bizarre readers?

You filthy pervs! What would your grandma think about you reading this filth? You should be ashamed.

The band are in negotiations with a Swedish label about putting out some CDs, but so far have been "too lazy" to follow it up. Don't hold your breath