Who’d have thought food wrap could be so much fun? Thanks to our interview with Mr Clingfilm back in Bizarre 91, we learned the perils and pitfalls of mummifying yourself in plasticised PVC. Since then, he’s gone from wrapping behind closed doors to taking his secret fetish to the masses…
How did you feel appearing in Bizarre?
It was a big deal, but I enjoyed it. When I saw my first letter printed in Bizarre, I nearly collapsed. I was so frightened and scared. It was my first step on a journey, which I’m still on, but it’s a double-edged sword. On the one hand I want people to see what I do, but on the other I’m letting people into something that’s personal and strange.
What response have you had since?
I decided to go online and get some more interest. Generally, the response has been positive. Some people were like, “You’re a freak!” but a couple were interested in what I do. I posted my videos on YouTube, and from there I’ve met two guys who wrap in a similar way, and we swapped pictures. They were grilling me on how I wrap and how I get it so tight. Then I was contacted by Channel Five, who’d seen me in Bizarre, to appear on A Girl’sGuide To 21st Century Sex. My initial response was, “Oh my God!” but I didn’t think for very long before agreeing to do it. They wanted to film me wrapping myself and explaining why I did it, and they had experts giving their opinion. It was brilliant, because I insisted on an all-female crew. They thought it was great and were all eager to help. The assistant was stunning and that was a bit nerve-wracking, especially getting naked in front of her and having an erection. It took ages for it to go down, even after filming finished – it actually hurt! Watching back over the episode, it was weird seeing my stonking great erection on the screen. But I thought it was brilliant. I got a right kick out of it!
Have you made any progress on the wrapping front?
I actually managed to mummify myself, but it was a struggle. It took me about two hours to wrap and then 20 minutes to get out of it. I got quite turned on at the thought I might not get out. Finally, I managed to push my thumb through and then a hand, and gradually I tore it all open. I didn’t know how I was going to get out until it came to it. I can do my hands now as well, but only as mittens, and I can completely wrap my head with only the septum showing so I’ve got just enough to breathe.
What’s next? World domination?
Well, I’ve run out of Clingfilm at the moment, so I need to get down the pound shop, but I am still looking for a girl to wrap. It’s not something you can just drop into a conversation easily! I’d like someone else to mummify me because it would work so much better than when I do it myself. When I can get over the psychological barrier of spending £15 a roll, I’d also like to purchase some black Clingfilm and experiment with that.
If you’d like to get in touch with our food-wrapped friend, email him at Nero.firstname.lastname@example.org