At midday on Monday 15 February, the 36-year-old, 6ft1in, ex-Kerrang! radio presenter Tim Shaw was locked inside a solid steel box just 106cm high and 137cm wide.
His only possessions are a mattress, baby wipes, a toothbrush, a loo roll, and two containers: one will be filled with a single meal each day, delivered with two litres of water, and the other is for him to shit into.
He has no watch with which to measure time (the lights in the box are on permanently), and no human contact. Two video cameras will film him throughout his solitary imprisonment, which will last up to 30 days – or until a member of the public finds him and wins a £30,000 prize.
Tim doesn’t know where the box is located. However, he does know that he’s in a place in the UK that he’s been before, and that it’s somewhere of personal significance to him. He’ll be talking about as much of his life as he can remember, hoping that something he mentions will act as a hint as to his whereabouts, and his monologues will be streamed online.
The public can guess his location for free by email. He’ll also be passed an obscure object through the hatch every day which will act as a cryptic clue.
Telling Bizarre about a 12-hour ‘test shift’ he completed in the container before being locked inside it long-term, Tim revealed, “Time passed horrifyingly slowly. I reckoned I’d been inside for about six hours when I was informed it had actually been two hours and 10 minutes. I’ve spoken to several hostage victims and been given some special exercises to prevent muscle wastage in an effort to prepare myself, but I can’t predict how I’m going to cope.
In the past, I’ve suffered from panic attacks when I’ve found myself in confined spaces, and I also took a lot of acid as an idiotic youth – it gives me flashbacks sometimes. I’m really hoping I won’t have a trippy episode while I’m trapped.
I’m also hoping nothing bad happens to the sole pair of blokes who know where the box is and are responsible for feeding me – if they both get killed in a car crash, I’ll starve to death.”
Although Tim’s ‘box room’ stunt is craziness squared, it’s far from being the first insane trick he’s pulled. During his award-winning, 15-year career hosting berserk yet compelling broadcasts, including three years on Kerrang! radio’s risqué late-night slot The Asylum, Tim’s limit-pushing japes have got him fired a mighty 16 times.
Kerrang! was forced to eject him after he broke into his boss’s house during an on-air ‘burglary’ prank, while Hallam FM (based in Tim’s home town of Sheffield) gave the DJ his P45 because he landed the station with a record £50,000 fine from regulator Ofcom because of his interviews with bestialists and paedophiles.
“I did a live phone-in with two men who were having sex with an Alsatian, and invited a guy into the studio to talk about how he’d spent nine months in prison for raping his own two-year-old-child,” Tim confirms. “I figured that if I wanted to learn about the taboo topics, my audience would, too.
My attitude was that animal shagging and kiddy fiddling have been going on for thousands of years; I don’t condone them, but there must be something driving people to commit such acts, and I wanted to discover what it was.
The paedo told me that he was born with the compulsion to touch children. He described it as a sexual orientation that he couldn’t fight, the way a gay fella can’t help fancying other men. If I was him though, I’d rather shoot myself than give in to my urges.”
Does Tim have any regrets about his extreme on-air antics? “The worst thing I ever did was ring up my grandma and fool her into thinking that I’d died,” the (w)anchor man admits. “She was so upset, and I wish I hadn’t gone through with it.”
Shaw ain’t sore about the blow jobs from porn stars that he gave away as listener prizes, though, or the time paramedics had to be called after he choked while trying to deep-throat a sausage.
“I’ve done some ludicrous things on-air over the years,” he reveals. “I’ve had two girls vomit into my open mouth. I’ve got women to call up, wrap their mobiles in condoms, push them into their pussies live on air, then continue the (muff-muffled) conversation.
And I’ve had dominatrices firing paintball guns at slaves’ bare arses, and men hammering nails through their bell-ends in the studio.
Sometimes the fans who phone me are even freakier though; I once had an undertaker call to tell me about a girl he’d always lusted after at school. When her dead body happened to show up at his funeral parlour, he raped it, and after that became a full-blown necrophile.”
Not everyone finds Tim’s broadcasts funny. As well as the numerous sackings, he’s suffered countless punches and been rammed in the face with a fire extinguisher by a female guest who was incensed by a comment he made about rape.
He also ended up on Crimewatch after cold-calling hundreds of people at 3am pretending to be a salesman from a fake window firm called Glaze-U-Like.
Yet the DJ isn’t all BJs, BDSM and ASBOs; he’s also got a more serious side, as his latest ‘boxed in’ challenge shows – it’s a far more grave undertaking than his previous entertaining but undeniably teenage, Jackass-style larks.
Is Shaw sure enough of his own mental stability to stay sane in the face of such intense solitary confinement, or will the DJ go doolally? We just hope he doesn’t fart in there…
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