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Serial Killer World Cup

Which one of the world’s sickest serial killers is going to bludgeon their way to becoming Bizarre’s terror tournament champion? Plus FREE downloadable serial killer world cup wallchart!


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Football. It’s the beautiful game, and the World Cup in South Africa is set to be the greatest show on earth. Right? Wrong! Who wants to see overpaid pansies moaning about being kicked in the shin when instead you could see the world’s most evil killers rip each other limb from limb.

We’ve brought together 16 bloodthirsty bruisers from across the globe for a series of bone-crunching, throat-slitting, breath-taking bouts of murderous carnage in our World Cup Of Serial Killers. But first, here’s a rundown of the brutal combatants fighting it out to become the world’s greatest killer. Place your bets and get the hotdogs in...

US Killers Line-up


JEFFREY DAHMER

The Milwaukee Cannibal
Age 34

Victims 17: all male, mostly youths
Method Drugging, strangulation
Special moves Necrophilia, cannibalism, trophy-keeping

Retired Jailed: 1992. Murdered: 1994

Dahmer’s chomping at the bit for this contest. The Milwaukee Cannibal, with 17 killings between 1978-1991 – including an astonishing twelve in just over a year (1990-91) – is hungry for success… and flesh. Known for his skill with drugs and his penchant for strangulation, competitors that turn their backs on Dahmer might find themselves out for the count, dead, then dismembered. Dahmer’s trophy cabinet is stuffed with skulls, limbs and rotting corpses.

TED BUNDY
The Campus Killer

Age 42

Victims At least 30: all female
Method Strangulation, bludgeoning
Special moves Necrophilia, charm

Retired Jailed: 1980 Executed by electric chair: 1989

Ted Bundy’s got it all: chameleonic good looks, intelligence, the ability to make a quick getaway… and, of course, the bloodthirsty nature of a serial killer. A natural finisher, Bundy killed at least 30 women in a series of terrifying sex attacks over a five-year period across five US states. While on the run, Bundy’s charm and wit helped him to escape the law several times. Known for his knockout power, Bundy’s a livewire (dying fittingly by electric chair) and a dark horse for the title.

JOHN WAYNE GACY JR
Killer Clown

Age 52

Victims 33: all male, mostly youths
Method Drugging, strangulation
Special moves Necrophilia, clowning

Retired Jailed: 1980

Executed by lethal injection: 1994

Honk honk! Here comes Pogo The Clown, AKA John Wayne Gacy Jr. In between entertaining local children, Gacy found plenty of time to drug, rape and strangle 33 men and boys before burying them underneath the floorboards of his house of horrors. His killing spree lasted from 1972-1978, and his victims were young – ranging from ages 14-21. Despite his leering face, the Killer Clown takes murder dead seriously and his rivals won’t be laughing when he’s done with them.

ROBERT HANSEN
The Hunter

Age 71

Victims 21: all female
Method Kidnapping, shooting
Special moves Hunting, tracking, survival skills

Retired Jailed: 1984

Hands-on Hansen is a real wilderness man. He cut his killing teeth as an amateur, tracking and shooting animals in the woods of Alaska, before moving on to more challenging prey – humans. Between 1980-1983, Hansen kidnapped around 20 people, flying them to his remote cabin, releasing them, and then hunting them down. Despite spending the last 27 years in jail, Hansen will be looking to shake off the dust, get back to the outback and test his skills against the world’s best.

UK Killers Line-up

HAROLD SHIPMAN
Dr Death

Age 57
Nationality English

Victims At least 215: all patients
Method Lethal injections
Special moves Drugging, forgery

Retired Jailed: 2000. Suicide: 2004

The doctor is in – and he’ll be trying to give everyone a morphine-filled needle in his attempts to be crowned Terror Champion. Although he was convicted in 2000 of killing 15 patients, the subsequent inquiry found that he probably murdered around 250. Dr Death is a heavyweight contender, but he might struggle with the physical aspects of the competition given that his victims were mostly elderly women. Still, no-one will want to face this medi-hell expert. He’ll be busy signing off his opponents’ death certificates.

FRED & ROSEMARY WEST
Husband And Wife Tag-team

Age 54 and 57
Nationality English

Victims 12: female, mostly teenagers
Method Strangulation, suffocation
Special moves Bondage, gardening

Retired Jailed: 1995. Fred suicide: 1995

The Wests’ thirst for torture, mutilation and murder won’t put off their challengers. But as the only killers in this line-up who murdered their own family – daughters Charmaine and Heather – their chilling abuse of all eight of their children mark them out as the most deranged psychos in our championship. Their victims were brutally raped and bound before being killed and buried under the patio of 25 Cromwell Street in Gloucester. Opponents will have to hope the Wests are less effective away from home.

BURKE AND HARE
The West Port Murderers

Age Burke 37, Hare unknown
Nationality Northern Irish
Victims 17
Method Asphyxiation, burking
Special moves Killing for cash, burking

Retired Burke hung: 1829. Hare walked

Despite being a couple of hundred years old, these old timers are the tag-team from hell. The evil slayers sold the bodies of their Edinburgh victims to medical schools. Considering the murders all occurred in one year, and it’s thought they may have killed as many as 30 people, they’ve got a seriously impressive strike rate. Opponents will have to watch out for the gruesome twosome’s special move, ‘burking’, which means suffocating someone quietly by leaning on their chest so that the corpse remains intact.

DENNIS NILSEN
The Muswell Hill Murderer

Age 64
Nationality Scottish

Victims 15: all male, some teenagers
Method Strangulation, drowning
Special moves Necrophilia, cannibalism

Retired Jailed: 1983

Neat, charming, quiet… In some quarters Nilsen has already been written off, but opponents shouldn’t underestimate the mild-mannered murderer’s potential to surprise. From 1978-1983, Nilsen used his kindly exterior to seduce victims before strangling or drowning them. Nilsen had neatly organ-ised trophies of body parts in bin bags around his North London flat, but flushed away his freedom when a plumber found entrails clogging up his drains. Opponents will have to avoid getting stuck in Nilsen’s U-bend.

Europe Killers Line-up


PETER KÜRTEN
The Vampire of Düsseldorf

Age 48
Nationality German
Victims 9
Method Stabbing, bludgeoning
Special moves Blood fetish

Retired Executed by guillotine: 1931

For nine Germans (and possibly several more) in the 1920s and 1930s, encountering Psycho Pete meant Kürtens. Known as ‘The Vampire’ because he got a sexual thrill from the sight of blood, Peter Kürten left a two-year trail of terror across Düsseldorf – attacking, stabbing and hammering victims to death. He was unfussy about who his victims were and no-one was safe from Pete’s blood lust. The Teutonic Terror will be doing his murderous most to secure Germany a gold medal in grisly slaughter.

ALEXANDER PICHUSHKIN
The Chessboard Killer

Age 36
Nationality Russian
Victims 48 confirmed
Method Bludgeoning
Special moves Mutilation, Chess

Retired Jailed: 2007

No stranger to competition, Pichushkin should feel comfortable in today’s parade of psychos. Even though he was convicted of 48 murders in 2007, the Chessboard Killer laid claim to over 60 killings in a five-year spree. Pichushkin gained his nickname for keeping a chessboard on which he marked off a square for each victim. He’s in good form and could yet checkmate a couple of pre-tournament favourites. He’ll surely relish the chance to take on rival Chikatilo for the title of Russia’s most bloodthirsty killer.

ANDREI CHIKATILO
The Red Ripper

Age 57
Nationality Ukrainian (Soviet era)

Victims 53: mostly youths
Method Stabbing, strangulation
Special moves Mutilation, cannibalism

Retired Executed by shooting: 1994

This sexual deviant who was attracted to young victims will have high hopes of winning. Having killed 53 people over 12 terrifying years, he’s got the stamina to last the distance. But his greatest strength is probably his versatility – corpse mutilation, cannibalism, and the ability to evade detection. But is he just a Jack The Ripper of all trades and a master of none? The most notorious serial killer in Russian history may yet have something to prove…

JACK UNTERWEGER
The Poet Of Death

Age 44
Nationality Austrian

Victims 15: mostly prostitutes
Method Strangulation
Special moves Manipulation, literature

Retired Hung himself in jail: 1994

The pen is mightier than the sword, and writer-cum-strangler Jack Unterweger is pretty handy with both. He impressively killed 14 women in three different countries between 1990 and 1992 after being granted early release from a conviction for his first murder. Using his charm and reinvention as a writer, Unterweger was able to persuade the authorities that he’d reformed. Known for strangling victims with their clothing, adversaries will aim to avoid being strung up by their own undies.

World Killers Line-up

IVAN MILAT
The Backpacker Killer

Age 65
Nationality Australian
Victims 7
Method Strangulation, shooting
Special moves Torture, bush skills

Retired Jailed: 1996

Ivan the Terrible is a real championship contender. He’s more suited to the great outdoors than a jail cell – where he currently resides. From 1989-1993, the sadistic killer struck seven times, targeting backpackers whose remains were found buried in shallow graves in New South Wales. There was little method to his madness as victims were strangled, stabbed, shot and tortured. Vicious and merciless, Milat ‘The Aussie Assassin’ could yet carry the crown of world’s best killer down under.

LUIS GARAVITO
La Bestia (The Beast)

Age 53
Nationality Colombian

Victims At least 138: all children
Method Throat-slitting
Special moves Abduction, torture

Retired Jailed: 1999

The Beast has claimed at least 138 victims – all street children – and the real number could exceed 300. Despite his brutality, Garavito could yet be
freed from prison for good behaviour due to Colombia’s lax sentencing laws. But, before he gets a shot at freedom, he must test himself with the world’s most vicious butchers. There are doubts about his ability despite the high body count – pundits are unconvinced about his strength, and it’s unclear how The Beast will fare against killers his own size.

MOHAMMAD BIJEH
Tehran Desert Vampire

Age 30
Nationality Iranian

Victims At least 20: mostly children
Method Bludgeoning, poisoning
Special moves Abduction, sexual abuse

Retired Executed by hanging: 2005

The Desert Vampire from the Middle East has high hopes of sucking everyone dry and taking home the blood-dripping trophy of death. He and his accomplice Ali Baghi offed 14 young boys and at least two adults in a brutal five-month killing binge. His true strike rate is unknown, but it’s thought to be higher. He’s got a big game temperament and can deal with a hostile crowd, as proved by his public execution in 2005. But Bijeh’s the rookie in today’s line-up and his lack of experience could show.

MOSES SITHOLE
The South African Strangler

Age 45
Nationality South African

Victims 38 confirmed: all female
Method Strangulation
Special moves Sexual assault, disguise

Retired Jailed: 1997

Representing Africa is one of the continent’s cruellest killers. In just sixteen months from 1994-1995, Moses Sithole strangled and raped 38 women, dumping their bodies in open grazing farmland. Moses will have to bring his A-game, and part a sea of blood to force his way to victory, but his frenzied nature will give opponents plenty to worry about... especially Rosemary West, given that this misogynistic monster is foaming at the mouth to get revenge on the fairer sex for being abandoned by his mother.




 

1 Comment

Kristinnsky

Would make a great game of 'Serial Killer Top Trumps'.....

By kristinnsky on 11 June, 2010, 3:27pm

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