First up, politics. Who will you be voting for in a few months? Labour? Tories? Lib Dems? Or maybe you can vote for someone who will always have your best interests at heart - a witch.

Of course some people are more into the spiritual than the political. Not least this speechless individual. Who knows if the Hindu god Shiva appreciated the sharp-tongued gesture but, even if blessed with children, he won't be dealing out any tongue lashings (sorry).

Remember Short Circuit? This story (pictured) makes me think Johnny 5 has launched a career in crime busting. Also must be the first time a desire for pizza resulted in hostages and a police stand-off.

Speaking of tying-up hostages - I always thought not paying tax, along with free hotel rooms and making your own hours, would be a top perk of being a high-class escort. But not if you're in Poland.

UK's snow and ice problems haven't gone away (yet) but when they do it'll be bad news for adultery websites. Over the recent, snow-filled weeks, business has boomed for the likes of Illicit Encounters. Not content with sneaking off work, we've been sneaking in and out of bedroom windows. 

Finally remember - even if you've just ploughed your car into a restaurant, breakfast is still the most important meal of the day.

What do you think of today's headlines? Got any of your own? Leave your comments below...