Wednesday, 3rd February

Good news and bad news for bestiality fans. Bad news first - Holland, producer of 80% of the world's animal love videos are on the verge of outlawing the industry. Good news - Sirocco, the rare parrot who skullbonked a BBC presenter is to be given a role as conservation ambassador with the New Zealand government.

Staying with New Zealand, a cash-strapped prospective student has sold her virginity for a whopping k (just over £20k) in order to fund university studies. There's been a flurry of virginity flogging over recent years but we reckon this is possibly the highest pay out figure. Let us know of any other virginity offers or higher pay-outs by leaving a comment below. We think it only goes to show that some people have too little money, and some people have far, far too much...

Staying with sex-for-education scandals, Karl Woodgett, a registrar at the University of Bath, offered two students degrees in exchange for a lot of slap and a bit of tickle. 

Meanwhile teaching, a noble profession, is being enhanced by the actions of two very special educators. First there's Joseph Gullotta who, presumably tired of childish arguing, told a 9 and 10-year-old to settle things with a good old fashioned dust-up. In the classroom. With the rest of the class watching. We're sure there was a bit of impromptu under-age gambling going on too, 'I'll have five cheestrings on the fat kid', that kind of thing. Over in Phoenix, Principal Ron Sterr raised a few parental eyebrows when a letter he wrote, branding kids "too lazy or too stupid", was accidentally mailed out. "The purpose of the letter was to mock those views and point out how ludicrous they are," said Sterr, who's either a really bad satirist or a really bad liar.

In weird science, Prof Chandra Wickramasinghe, a Cardiff University scientist, has revealed new research which indicates humans are really aliens who landed on earth millions of years ago. ET 1 - Science and Religion 0.

Finally check out this crazy video of a raised truck bed completely wiping out a pedestrian walkway. Luckily only one person was left with non life-threatening injuries. 

What do you think of today's headlines? Got any of your own? Leave your comments below...