Thursday, 18th February

Apologies, Daily Demented readers, yesterday's edition got mysteriously lost in the internet's many chubby folds. Or it just didn't get written. Either way we're back today with a deep dish of demented.

First to a Philadelphian school that took the concept of home monitoring far too seriously. A seemingly generous act - the assignation of laptops to students - actually turned out to be a covert attempt to keep an eye on student behavior at home as teachers used built-in webcams to spy on pupils and their families.

Karl Mayberry, St.Louis, was on the receiving end of an embarrassing racist remark after ordering take away from a local Pizza Hut. When he received the receipt, in the space where his name should've been it simply said 'BIGBLACK'.

Some weeks back, a video billboard on a busy Moscow road, was hacked and made to play a two minute porn clip. The stunt brought traffic to a halt and reportedly contributed to the death of an elderly motorist, who died of a heart attack. Now the alleged hacker has been arrested and faces charges for what he describes as an attempt to 'give people a laugh.'

Speaking of heart attacks, Swiss prostitutes are learning to use defibrillators thanks to the large number of elderly customers frequenting brothels and then croaking it.

Finally here's a website that's like those Marks & Spencers ad's - pure food porn. Except it's aimed exclusively at those who believe one meal shouldn't be consumed unless stuffed inside another meal, rolled in bacon and cheese, deep fried, then smothered in gravy and injected with lard. Needless to say, we love it.