Friday 26th February

It's Friday, it's the weekend and the weekend is all about escape. Escape from the 9-5, flee the city, hell, escape from jail. Why not? Sure this Dutch woman did it, the hard way, by digging a tunnel with a spoon. We thought that was only possible in movies but - forget The Shawshank Redemption and uplifting string music and Tim Robbins topless in the rain - this woman is a murderer. So, you know, respect the effort but someone re-apprehend her quick-sharp.

The weekend is also about day's off and it makes us think - did Jesus ever get a day off? If he did, what would it look like? Probably something like this image which 'accidentally' found it's way into an Indian primary school text book and has caused considerable anger in the country's Catholic Church.

In the UK, a Brighton woman has been fined £250 for repeatedly, over a period of three years, playing The Banana Splits' at full volume. That's proper noise abuse - not even the most drop-dead heavy of industrial thrash metal is going to top the psychosis-enducing agony of hearing The Banana Splits over and over again.

In the US, a woman has vowed never to lose weight after her love handles saved her life. Samantha Lynn Frazier was shot in her left 'handle', with the extra fat preventing the bullet moving any further towards her vital organs. Meanwhile, swap 'love handles' for 'fake boobs', and the exact same thing happened in California. 

If keeping weight down is a problem, you could always try the newest innovation in diet techniques - pain. Nicolas Chugay, a cosmetic surgeon, has invented a device which, when implanted on the tongue, makes eating solid foods painful. But why stop there? Electrified fridge doors would work. Dynamite cakes? How about a pair of jeans which ignite if you can no longer fit in them?

The Daily D has reported many times on relationship problems in China. A conservative nation, big on family values, China is also a country with far more men than woman. An innovative solution to the coupling conundrum is the world's first supermarket of love. Based in Beijing, the 'meet market' has attracted over 1000 clients and matched more than 50 couples.