Friday, 5th March

Ruth Flowers: by day genial granny, by night 69-year-old beats master. This English geriatric is taking the Paris club world by storm and has already spun the wheels of steel at the Cannes Film Festival. Hit me with your zimmer frame...

In New York, Maria Aliamo is suing her plastic surgeon for forgetting his brief. When she said 'I want bigger breasts', he heard ' I want four breasts.' Happens all the time, probably. Anyway she ain't too happy and is suing the doc for £3 million for making her have even more boobs than the Mars-based hooker in Total Recall.

Meanwhile an israeli soldier has posted a contender for best Facebook status update ever, by typing up revealing details of a planned raid operation on the West Bank. His personal page contained unit details and exact time and location of the subsequently cancelled raid. Hamas clicked 'like' and commented: "Facebook fail @ Israeli army LOL." At least we hope so.

In Texas, a university group called Atheist Agenda have began a campaign called "Smut for Smut", in which the group will give you porn in exchange for a copy of the Bible. Their hope is to highlight that the Bible is just as bad at depicting woman as porn.

Japan really is the ground zero for fetish trends but even then it is hard to believe anyone would pay up to £11,000 pounds for real uniforms to use in sex play. But, apparently, they do, as authentic Japan Airline air-steward outfits sell for incredibly high amount on the black market. In Japan, sex is all about the detail.

Finally great news ahead of the weekend for all you lovers of booze, booze, booze. The dreaded hangover may be no-more - Korean scientists have discovered that adding oxygen to drinks allowed the body to metabolise booze quicker, so dulling the effects. Your liver is the only loser.