Tuesday, 16th March

Your daily dose of demented returns after a brief hiatus with a quick round up of stories from the last few days.

We begin with a story which testifies to the power of fake news. Mass panic erupted in Georgia over the weekend after a TV station broadcast a 'report' declaring the Georgian president dead and that Russia had invaded. Except it was untrue - in fact, the report was a simulation of what MIGHT happen if Russia invaded. But this thick headed news feature came just 18 months after Russia did invade, so the locals were understandably jittery and promptly overloaded emergency services. This is what happens when trusted news sources broadcast outright lies - it's why you'll never see falsehoods in the Daily Demented. Just total nonsense.

The world's first genderless person has been officially recognised. Norrie May-Welby, a British expat living in Australia, was born a man and had a sex change in 1990 but became dissatisfied as a woman. So Norrie became a 'neuter' and doctors in Australia have since been unable to determine the expat's sex. 

In South Africa, a prostitute has gone to court in order to win a case of unfair dismissal against her former employers. Prostitution is outlawed in South Africa, but this hasn't stopped 'Kylie' from attempting to seek justice after being sacked from a massage parlour for choosing her clients and giving her boyfriend freebee's. Judge President Raymond Zondo is suitably confused about the whole thing: "You say 'please protect me from someone who is stopping my doing something criminal' - it doesn't make sense to me."

Meanwhile a Dutch nurses union have launched a campaign to highlight that sex is not part of their job description. A 42-year-old man attempted to have a young nurse fired when she refused to give him a happy ending to his sponge bath, unlike other nurses who had obliged. As a statement from NU'91 reads: "This type of action is not part of the job responsibilities of carers and nurses."

An upside down house in Germany is attracting droves of tourists, amazed to find it is fully habitable and operational, with a working kitchen, living room and bathroom. No idea how the upside-down toilet works and don't really want to know.

Finally the world's shortest man, He Pingpeng, has died in Italy, aged 21. Pingpeng became a global star after being officially recognised by Guinness as the world's shortest at 2ft, 5in tall.