Today’s weird news round-up begins with two instructive stories that underline just how to act when travelling with family. A man decided to take his wife and mother-in-law on a cross channel day trip to France. They drove 300 miles from Merseyside to Dover, and took the ferry. One problem. The man and his wife had left mum in the car park. And they didn’t even notice until they were in a different country. We're all sure it was just an 'honest mistake.'

Meanwhile police have placed a New Zealand 1-year-old into welfare after the baby’s father had left him in the car while visiting a strip club. The man decided the perfect time for a lap-dance was at 3am, when he was looking after his son. Jees. Least he could’ve done was taken the baby in with him.

A Thai prisoner has been freed – three years too late. Kamjai Khong Thavorn was sentenced to 20 years imprisonment in 1987 for heroin possession. But his prison start date was incorrectly recorded as 1997. He was only released after notifying a visiting minister of the mistake. Ah well. What’s an extra three years after twenty in the slammer?

Religious organisations (notably the Catholic Church) hasn’t been receiving (ahem) the best press of late. And it’s not going to change with these ridiculous stories floating around. In Sweden, a priest manning a depression hot-line fell asleep as a desperate and suicidal man called for advice. The man called due to feeling ‘psychologically unstable’ only to find the pastor on the other end dozing off to his troubled tales. Meanwhile a Maltese mayor has called for a phallic sculpture to be torn down ahead of an impending visit from the Pope. John Shembri calls the sculpture ‘vulgar’ and ‘embarrassing’ – but it will be one of the first things Pope Benedict will see once touching down in the country. In fairness, it does look like a big wang.

Good news for visually impaired smut lovers – a photographer has created an erotic picture book for the blind. Lisa Murphy’s Tactile Minds features Braille text and 17 raised images of naked pictures. Don’t get too excited or you might go bl…oh.

Finally anyone who had a horse come through in the Grand National at the weekend can understand the jubilation of this fellow, perfectly captured by a BBC news report.

What do you think of today's headlines? Got any of your own? Leave your comments below...