You told me that Yeovil might as well be named ‘Yeoviltine’; that like the malty drink, this sleepy South West town would send me straight to the land of nod. But whilst undoubtedly overshadowed by the neighbouring festival town of Glastonbury, and more obvious attractions like Stonehenge and the Cheddar Gorge, Yeovil’s still got more freakery to its name than simply being an anagram of ‘Yo Evil’. How do you fancy two Ultra Vixens, a tattoo of a Tefal toaster, voodoo dolls and a racoon todger? I dug up all this and more before the sun had set on Somerset…

WHERE TO BUY STUFF

Devil’s Den of Tattoos
My ink-ling that Devil’s Den tat artists Wayne, Sumo and Pete might have been in a magazine before was right: they appeared in Horse and Hound after decorating a Channel 4 Racing presenter. As well as that toaster tattoo, they’ve inscribed Yeovil yokels with pics of a garden spade, a giant Bacardi logo, and a public toilet sign across a lass’s back.

Occult Fetish
Fresh from feeding her pet bird-eating tarantulas Itchy and Bitchy, American-gal-in-Somerset Emm presents me with my own voodoo doll, or ‘poppet’. ‘It’s made from wool dipped in virgin wax. ‘You can make it personal by digging a hole in the chest, adding some of your nail clippings, hair, or blood, then sealing it with a melted candle’, she instructs.

Witch Engine
The prime place to pounce on a prized pearl Pokemon or snap up a Star Wars miniature, collectables and tabletop gaming shop Witch Engine is open late all week for figurine fanatics to painstakingly paint their Warhammer characters or challenge a Yu-Gi-Oh champ in the upstairs playroom.


PLACES TO VISIT

Wookey Hole Caves
There’s not many places where you can sample underground-aged cheddar and venture into spooky caverns sheltering pagan legends, but Wookey Hole Caves have got it all covered. And it gets better. There are life-size dinosaurs, witches, a Victorian Arcade, freaky mirror maze and an enchanted fairy garden.


The Octagon Theatre
Persiphone Petticoat, who greets me in character as ‘The Little Big Fairy’, reports that The Octagon Theatre offers more than usual Christmas Panto. If Roy Chubby Brown isn’t up your alley, then maybe fire-breathing and blood-soaked burlesque is. The Circus Of Horrors tread the boards here regularly and recently disgusted audiences with their new Asylum tour complete with throat slitting, extreme roller skating and midget stapling.


Street Art
Even if, as Yeovil-teens would have me believe, there’s nowt to do here but wander the streets, at least some creative type has decorated them with graffiti poetry. The mystery musings have found a fan in Beatnik Butterfly, a performance artist who lives in a yurt – a permanent (and illegally erected) tent built from hazel sticks and canvas in a secret Yeovil location.


CLUBS

The Orange Box
Yeovil’s club scene is on fire – literally. An intriguing number of places seem to have burned down under suspicious circumstances. Of those still standing, try The Orange Box for rocking alternative nights and a diary brimming with loud, live music such as Bring Me The Horizon and SilverStein.


WHERE TO FIND

Devil’s Den of Tattoos
115 Middle Street
BA20 1NA
01935 411790

Cradle Falls
Cradlefalls.tk

Occult Fetish
www.occultfetish.com

Witch Engine
7 South Western Terrace
BA20 1NB
01935 427077
Witchengine.com

Wookey Hole Caves
Wookey Hole,
Wells, Somerset
BA5 1BB
01749 672243
Wookey.co.uk

The Octagon Theatre
Hendford
Yeovil
Somerset
BA20 1UX
01935 422884
Octagon-theatre.co.uk

The Orange Box
Tabernacle Lane
South Street
BA20 1QA