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News and Videos: Unusual Gifts

 

Weird Gifts!

Fabulously freaky presents you'll want to keep for yourself, you selfish bint.

These gifts are so awesome that if you give one to a friend, they're practically obliged to give you their kidney in return, should you ever contract some hideous disease and require an urgent transplant.

 
     
1. GOGO MOJO DANCING ROBOTS

£4.50 each, Cubicuk.com

Little wind-up androids that shake their booties and dance the robot. You’ll never get borg of ’em!



 
2. STEAMPUNK EYE PATCH

£74.99, Alchemygothic.com


Given yourself poorly peepers by spending late nights straining over your soldering iron, developing your patented copper clockwork Victorian-style laptop? Then this steampunk patch’ll be a sight 
for sore eyes.



 
3. PINK NON-LATEX GLOVES

£2.99 for 10, Sh-womenstore.com

Pink to make your puckered passion-hole wink. Perfect for role play and anti-allergy, so nothing swells up in a way it’s not supposed to.



 
4. ANIMAL-PRINT BOG PAPER

£2.99 for three rolls, FindMeAGift.com

It’s a safari in your khasi! Ideal for wiping your ‘brown eye of the tiger’.



 
     
5. ‘LEGALISE CANNIBALISM’ ZOMBIE BADGE

£3.50, Retrorebels.com

Funny. Snarf snarf.



 
6. FLAVOURED DENTAL DAMS

£5.99 for 6, Postalcondoms.com

These dams (squares of super-thin latex for use during oral sex) are great for rimming if you don’t like to taste taint: place the dam over your lover’s asshole and lick through it – yummy! Or try using one as
 a vanilla-scented ‘handkerchief’ in the top pocket of your rubber jacket next time you're out at a fetish club.



 
7. JUJAK HEADRESSES

Price on request, Myspace.com/jujak.headdress

With one of these feather-and-bone creations perched atop your bonce, you only ever need wear a bin bag to look breathtaking at any party. On your head, my son!



 
8. ANTI-BURGER-CHAIN T-SHIRT

£20, Disturbiaclothing.co.uk

Yeah, we hate moo-cow-torturing, lard-trumpeting burger joints too. Until we’re drunk. Then Ronald is our best fwend.



 
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