Twenty years ago, even having a tattoo of your partner’s name scrawled on a British flag was liable to generate gasps. Now, as tattoos seep into the mainstream, it takes some truly outrageous ink to get a big reaction. Woody (above) is the force behind Woody’s Tattoo Studio in High Wycombe.

His killer designs have seen him ‘find’ Pixar’s Nemo in a vagina, portray Scooby Doo indulging in oral sex with Daphne, and treat a nun to a mouthful of cock. But his champion gasp-inducing design has been Princess Di with a sticky-wet penis hanging out of her mouth, and a Mercedes badge in her forehead.

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“People thought Diana was untouchable,” Woody explains. “But I saw her as a human being in a car, driving around Paris with a bunch of blokes, pissed up, and who wrapped herself round a lamp post. Lots of people do that and they’re never sanctified the way she was! On the other hand, you get people who’ve been demonised such as Gary Glitter. I’ve drawn him because he’s so emotive.”

Woody says he tattoos shocking images to be imaginative and truthful. “There’s an awful lot of dross out there,” he grins. “Most people are not creative in their choices; they go for mawkish shit when they tell you how their goldfish died. I design stuff that people say they wouldn’t have, but everyone wants to see it. Everything I design is done with a positive attitude. No sentiment applied.”

Meet La Negra, the tattooed, horned woman from Mexico!

Richard is a customer of Woody’s. He requested the nun with a penis in her mouth, called ‘Nun Cock’. “The important thing for me is to shock and bemuse people,” Richard says, proudly. “The good thing about the ‘Nun Cock’ is that when I’m wearing shorts the cock peeks out, fooling people into thinking it’s my own penis.”

Woody explains how he convinces his clients to have such outrageous designs inked across their skin. “You have to push the customer’s ideas,” he says. “They still want control, though, otherwise you may as well be raping them! One of my guys wants Sleeping Beauty with Prince Charming’s cock in her mouth, and a bottle of Rohypnol.”

It’s hard to imagine why anyone would want the design, but Woody has the answer: “I suggested it to him while I was tattooing Scooby-Doo shagging Daphne up the arse!”

Another of Richard’s Woody treasures is a Gary Glitter mugshot. “That was Woody’s idea and it’s subtle but shocking,” he says. “People like David Beckham have made tattoos acceptable, which has really pissed me off. So I have to go further.”

Next Woody will tattoo Richard with a portrait of serial-killing doctor Harold Shipman. “I think Shipman’s a little bit misunderstood,” explains Richard. “Having just finished his biography, it seems a witch hunt, so I shall be getting a tattoo as a mark of respect to a great doctor!”

Woody adds: “One old lady, in her stiff, bitter world, questioned Richard’s Gary Glitter. He said he got it ‘because I’m a child molester’. What he meant to say was ‘because I was molested as a child’, but the point is he doesn’t feel he needs to justify his tattoos. Haha!”
 
For more, go to Woodystattoostudio.com