Dear Bizarre readers,

I’ve earned the nickname ‘Billy The Billboard’ because I’m a real ‘site’ to behold: I have the website addresses and logos of 19 online firms tattooed on my back, arms, chest, neck and face.

I’m waiting for confirmation from Guinness World Records, but I’m pretty sure I hold the record for the largest skin surface area to be covered in inked ads, and I’m certainly the first guy to have a company’s details permanently etched on my cheeks.

All sorts of businesses have paid for space on my body, from income tax services to lingerie sellers.

But I have extra affection for all the porn sites I promote, such as Pornfidelity.com, which was established by a husband-and-wife team who like to fuck their friends!

Some of my other porn clients are more obscure – there’s Shemaleyum.com, which specialises in smut featuring ‘chicks with dicks’, and Crackwhoreconfessions.com, starring drug-addicted street-walkers. It seems appropriate for skin flicks to advertise on real skin though, huh?

I suppose you’re wondering how I got into this. It started when a blood donation drive was held in my town. The event drew my attention to the plight of people waiting for transfusions and organ replacements, so I decided to donate blood platelets every two weeks (I’ve now given 95 litres) and signed up to become an organ donor after my death – but I wanted to do more.

I discovered that it’s possible to donate some body parts while you’re alive: a kidney, a lung, some bone marrow, or a piece of liver or intestine. So I logged on to a website, Matchingdonors.com, that helps you find someone in need who might be a match for your organs.

I was struck by the profile of Kathy Lee, who required a kidney. Unlike some of the other folk, Kathy didn’t drink or smoke; she ate healthily and played tennis a lot.

I emailed her, we became friends, and I learned that my kidney would be a perfect fit for her. The only problem was that Kathy lived in California – I live in Alaska – and I had no money for the air fare.

I compete in amateur boxing ‘Toughman’ competitions, and I love to watch the sport on TV. Ricky Hatton is my favourite boxer, but I’m also a fan of Bernard Hopkins, and during one of his matches I noticed he had a temporary tattoo advertising Golden Palace casino. This inspired me to get a real Golden Palace tatt to earn the money for my flight.

Six months after first contacting Kathy, I had the cash to reach the hospital where doctors transplanted one of my kidneys into her body. We both recovered really well, and now she’s like the sister I never had. 

I continued to fight, increasing my unbroken match record to 18 wins with no losses. I even won a three-mile running race against 1,000 other joggers just a fortnight after surgery!

My stitches did burst open, however, so I crossed the finish line covered in blood…

It didn’t put me off, though, and I continue to support organ donation charities and help my family by getting paid to get tattooed. I’ve got absolutely no regrets, and I’m sure I’ll never get bored of being a billboard!

Billythehumanbillboard.com

Find out about organ donation in the UK at Organdonation.nhs.uk