Variously known as ‘Cactus Jack’, ‘Dude Love’, ‘Mankind’ and ‘The Hardcore Legend’ during his career as a professional wrestler, Mick Foley has seen more clotheslines than a laundrette, and lost more molars than a careless tooth fairy – so it’s no surprise his autobiographies are bestsellers. We asked him some questions, and he pulled no punches with his answers…

You’re known for your gappy smile. Friend of Bizarre and Circus Of Horrors performer Hannibal has teeth made from mammoth tusks. Fancy filling in your spaces with ancient bones?
In 1990 when I met my wife, I was still replacing my teeth in between matches with a temporary dental flipper, but she said I looked sexier without it.  I chucked the flipper in the ashtray and haven’t looked back since. Plus, I think most of my fans would see cosmetic dentistry as the ultimate sell-out.

Ever lost any other body part?
I lost most of my right ear after it got severed on the ropes during a match in Germany. After the doctors had done the best they could to patch things up,
I wanted to preserve the ripped-off remnants and take them home to the States – but I had to leave them behind as I couldn’t remember the German word for ‘formaldehyde’. The hospital had to throw my sorry bit of ear in the trash.

The accident hasn’t affected my hearing, but once in a while I try to tuck my hair back and find there’s nothing to hold it in place on one of side of my head. I haven’t worn sunglasses in a long time, either. I need to get an Opti-Grab – one of those devices for holding your glasses to your nose that Steve Martin’s character Navin Johnson invents in The Jerk.

Speaking of body parts, have you ever seen any strange genitalia?
Unfortunately for me, I haven’t encountered too many sets of genitalia. Fellow wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin gets all the girls. I was so jealous when Drew Barrymore wore one of his branded shirts in Charlie’s Angels.

I got really excited when a fan showed me a magazine with a photo of a musician wearing a Cactus Jack top – until I noticed he was naked from the waist down and wanking on stage. I did appear on a satellite radio show once though, hosted by one of my favourite 1980s adult icons, Christy Canyon. She and her co-host performed full-on oral sex on each other and insisted that I give a play-by-play commentary.

Have you ever killed an animal?
I mourned so much after I clipped a racoon – with my car I mean, I didn’t shave the thing! I could imagine how lonely its mate would be. I go out of my way to remove roadkill from the tarmac as I find it so undignified for a dead animal to be left laying there.

Ever seen a UFO?
I was a big fan of Dana Scully on The X-Files, but I’ve never seen an alien, nor a ghost. I’ve felt haunting presences, but there’s never been an accompanying visual.

What do you see when you slam your head in the ring? Do you hallucinate?
I’ve seen my opponent appear in triplicate plenty of times! Oddly though, the most intense images occur to me when I listen to the Tori Amos song ‘Winter’. It’s a truly beautiful track, but I listen to it before matches to help me visualise the violence I’m about to wreak.

I’ve actually just written a 6,000 word chapter about this for the new book I’m writing. I stayed up for 20 hours scribbling away, trying to work out why this stunning song inspires such brutality within me, and reflecting on my five minute meeting with Tori at a comic book convention. By virtue of her 14-year-old nephew she was aware that I used her music to get motivated, and she let me give her a hug. Even though I towered over her and outweighed her by close to 200lbs, I felt like a small child in the arms of an angel.

Ever met anyone who’s deeply disturbed you?
For every profound Tori Amos experience, I’ve had a not-so-pleasant meeting. I’ve met a lot of racists, who disgust me. I’m so glad Barack Obama is president; I campaigned for him in Pennsylvania when he was running against Hilary Clinton. He has a forgiving attitude that appeals to me – like when he hired his rival to be secretary of state. I’ve always thought that one of the most overlooked aspects of wrestling is its significant level of forgiveness; where else can you run someone over with a truck and then be their team mate six months later?

What’s been your strangest fan experience?
In one rare WWE match when I was actually wearing my false teeth, Stone Cold Steve Austin threw them into the crowd. Two years later I got a gift box from a fan with my incisors in it.

One of your finishing moves involves stuffing a smelly sock in your opponent’s mouth. What’s the oddest thing you’ve had in your gob?
When I was 15 and playing American football, one of my team mates threw an earthworm at me, and I thought it would be a great comeback to eat it. It sidelined my entire high school dating career.

If you could have sex with an animal, what would you seduce?
I’ve heard positive things about sheep and camels, but they don’t appeal to me. I’d opt to be a tortoise and make love to a fellow turtle. Tortoises live a long time, so they learn to know what they’re doing. They grow to be discreet, skilled virtuosos, unlike over-eager goats and dogs that go round inexpertly humping anything and everything.

Forced to pick, would you choose necrophilia, coprophilia or bestiality?
I’d opt for the coprophilia, because the other two are illegal. Plus, based on what I’ve observed travelling through Japan on 15 tours, I’ve seen that for some people, having sex while covered in poo is an acceptable part of life…



Wrestling show TNA Impact! airs on Bravo on Saturdays at 9pm. Mick Foley’s autobiographies are in stores now, and another book is coming soon.