At first we wanted some ‘Extra Large Curvy Sexy Lady Breasts’, because our brain read their name in the voice of Father Ted, but we ended up with a pair of ‘Bouncing Breasts In A Bra (Large)’ because they were easier to put on and we were in a hurry to get out of there.

Sadly, they hampered the experiment. While they were described as “a beautiful feminine black lacy bra with pre-filled cups… with specially weighted infill that gives the realistic feel, appearance and movement of real feminine bouncing breasts”, they actually felt and looked like two beanbags in a sling stapled to my back.