What’s the strangest thing you’ve had in your mouth? (Listen to Bam's answer here)

	I had this voice in my head, it was just saying gibberish and making no sense at all, I was contemplating jumping off the fucking balcony to get rid of it

I ate a piece of horse shit in New Orleans for Jackass. It was dried up because it’d been there for a week to 10 days, so most of the shit flavour had disappeared, thank God. It was still pretty disgusting and had that little bit of shit smell to it. It tasted like I was eating a crappy flavoured piece of dried dirt.

Did it make you ill?

I barfed as soon as I ate it, so they never even showed it on Jackass. That day they pulled a king cobra out on me, and I hate snakes. I got shot with paintballs, then I ate a piece of shit. And then I climbed through alligators in this mud pit. I was just so pissed about the entire day that I felt ill for a long time afterwards. I was like, “Fuck this Jackass shit, I want to go home now!” I was scared from the snakes, sick from the shit and hurt from the paintballs; the whole day sucked. It took me at least four days to recover.

Do you collect anything weird?

I collect a shit-load of porn. I did an interview with Hustler a few weeks ago and they told me they could send me free porn. I was like, “Send me the craziest shit you have! I want fat fucks! I want transvestites! I want people sticking two fists up an ass!” They sent me everything. Some of it’s too crazy for me. I got caught red-handed watching tranny porn by my fiancée. I was like, “I was just curious!” I didn’t really like it to tell the truth.

Have you ever been obsessed with anyone?

Yeah. When I was 20 I flew to Finland for this skate contest and I was obsessed with the singer from HIM. Every HIM song I heard was the best ever, and he had this massive tattoo of thorns on his arm and I thought it was the coolest thing. I thought he wrote the coolest music and he was the coolest dude in the world, so I went and got two tattoos exactly the same and flew to London to go meet him. Then I kind of regretted getting the tattoos because it’s such a fucking fan thing to do, but by then it was already too late. We wound up being really good friends, but I guess at the time it was kind of weird. But now I have so many other tattoos it doesn’t really matter. That was definitely the most obsessed I’ve ever been with anybody.

Do you have any phobias?

I hate snakes and spiders. I got bitten by this Brown Recluse spider in Spain and my whole fucking leg turned gross and wrinkly like a fucking 70-year-old man’s. And then it started getting this big hole. The hole was half an inch big and you could see right into it. You could almost see the bone it was so wide open, and it just kept getting worse and worse. If I hadn’t taken medicine, my leg would have just decayed. I flew to Spain to do a skateboard contest, but I couldn’t even do it because my leg was rotting. I hated spiders already, and I used to step on them and kill them. I don’t know if that’s karma biting me on the ass. Or on the leg. It could’ve been karma biting me on the leg.

Talking of killing animals, what’s the largest animal you’ve ever killed?

I’d just got this brand new BB gun and was shooting all kinds of things. I was shooting my uncle’s van windows from like a hundred feet away. I was like, “Man, I can shoot anything with this thing!” And then this cute sparrow landed on my deck and I just aimed at it.

No!

I just wanted to shoot at it. I didn’t want to hit it – I just wanted to shoot in that vicinity to see if it would fly away or be all stressed out. But I hit it right in the belly and it just dropped dead. I was like, “I’m going to hell!” I went skating later that day for a photoshoot, and as I was doing a trick I thought, “I’m going to end up twisting my ankle because I killed that bird.” And then, sure enough, I twisted the shit out of my ankle and was out for two weeks. I think that was karma because I killed a bird for no reason.

I think that’s exactly what happened. Murderer.

I’ll never aim my BB gun at another bird.

What’s the closest to death you’ve ever come?

The Bloodhound Gang live right near me in Pennsylvania, and when they were filming Cribs they asked me if I’d be part of it and drive a car into a moat. They said that there was a seven-foot drop into the moat, and the moat was seven foot deep. I drove the car into the moat and stood on top as it was sinking, but when I jumped into the moat I only rotated one half of the car and went in headfirst. And the fucking moat was only three feet deep, with these major sharp rocks. I split my head open and the cut was literally six to seven inches long. It was gushing blood, and the closest hospital was 40 minutes away. I was losing blood and fading in and out of consciousness. I made it to the hospital in time, but I thought I was going to die. The doctor said that if the moat had been two feet deep rather than three feet, then I would’ve snapped my neck and been completely dead. I had to get 15 staples in my head. That hurt like hell. It was like the worst pain ever.

Do you ever hear voices in your head? (Listen to Bam's full answer here)

No, but one time in Los Angeles I had this voice in my head in a hotel room. It wasn’t like waking up from a dream – it was really happening. It was just saying gibberish and making no sense at all, and it was so loud in my head that I was contemplating jumping off the fucking balcony to get rid of it. I called up my girlfriend and was like, “I have fucking voices in my head! It’s going to go on forever and I can’t take it! I’m going to kill myself and jump off this fucking thing right now just to get rid of it!” It was some evil woman in my fucking head. It was so strange. Thank God it only lasted three minutes. Hopefully that was the last time that’ll ever fucking happen.

If you had to have sex with an animal, what would it be?

I don’t know if I could do it. I guess a sheep. People fuck those, don’t they? I’d have to put five condoms on.

Bam Margera stars in 3000 Miles, out on DVD 29 April