The principal stunt dwarf from classic flick Willow left our Foxy weeping last month during a pugil stick battle set up as part of the Pot Noodle Food Fight tour.

Mini fighter Peter ‘The Beater’ Bonner opened a chicken and mushroom-flavoured can of whoopass on Bizarre’s gal as part of a series of promotional events designed to ram the message home that the compact pots of pasta are “small on size, but big on flavour, so your lunch can pack a punch”.

And whether the instant snacks are your idea of tastebud-tantalising heaven or monosodium glutamate-soaked hell, there’s still one last chance for you too to be bopped like a Whack-A-Mole by a catsuited midget: the final Food Fight will take place at the Rip Curl Boardmasters event on Fristral Beach, Newquay, 4-10 August; so if you’re about, drop by and get ready to rumble.

But be warned: 4ft Peter used to front his own wrestling show, is an expert horse rider, and despite describing himself as “looking like a deployed airbag” in his Lycra one-piece, Foxy will testify for the fact that he can use his foam baton to batter you into the middle of next week. Next time, she’ll be picking
on someone her own size…