The B.I.T.C.H. party was one of the biggest fetish events in Holland, attracting well over 2,000 people. As well as a kinky fashion show and eyewatering perfomances, there were some most deviant shenanigans going on in every available darkened corner, and most folk were happy to bare all for our photographer.

Of course, we couldn't possibly show you everything that took place - there are laws about this sort of thing, you know - so you'll just have to believe me when I say there was an ample helping of nuns being serviced, snakes lurking dangerously near orifices, and a woman testing her limits with a large bottle of mineral water.

After carefully censoring the party pictures, you lot are left with two damp dykes copping off in a large diaphragm, a Duncan Goodhew lookalike in his magical 'penis sleeve', a Chippendale giving face to some bird on a swing and a munter with a bindi. No, don't thank us.